Dançando com as estrelas’ Sharna Burgess is opening up about her dark thoughts and saúde mental struggles since becoming a parent in hopes of getting others to start talking about the often difficult topic.
“You have these visions of the worst-case scenario happening,” the 37-year-old tells PEOPLE exclusively while partnering with Movember and their #hope4theholidays campaign which aims to break the stigma around men talking about their mental health. “You’re driving a car, and you have a vision play out of a car hitting you and then the jaws of life opening up the car to get your baby out of it. It is the biggest and most dramatic of situations that your brain can come up with, and it’s shocking and paralyzing even.”
The professional dancer and Brian Austin Green, 49, filho bem-vindo Zane Walker, 5 meses, em junho. The couple met when the actor was partnered with the Australian native during season 30 of the Disney+ dance show.
Burgess admits she’s dealing with some extra anxiety that she’s trying hard to process since joining the motherhood club.
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“When you come into motherhood and you’re not ready for those thoughts, you don’t know they’re coming because we don’t talk about this enough,” Burgess says. “You suddenly get hit with them and you think, ‘Is this just me? Is there something wrong with my brain, or am I really somehow seeing things that could possibly happen? Or am I making this stuff up? O que é isso?'”
Having good communication with loved ones has helped the mirrorball champion deal with her unwanted thoughts.
“You feel like you’re going a little bit crazy with it,” Burgess says. “You learn that you’re not alone —just from talking to my mom or other girlfriends. I go to therapy and by sharing it there, you understand, 'Oh, I’m not alone. This is my brain not so much playing tricks on me, but doing things that I do have the ability to observe and not let them control me and allow them to pass without them feeling like they’re so very real,’ and knowing that that’s okay. But it’s a process.”
“Sharna is, graças a Deus, really good at communicating,” adds Green, who also is father to sons Journey River, 6, Bodhi Ransom, 8 e Noah Shannon, 10, com ex-esposa Megan Fox e filho Kassius, 20, com Vanessa Marcil.
“So we have constant conversations just about little things. That she has a fear of tripping, walking down the stairs, or walking into doorways, it’s pretty normal, but it can be pretty consistent just in dealing with something that is so new and it’s a love that she’s never experienced,” ele diz.
Burgess has also learned healthy tools to help her cope when she’s having anxious feelings.
“Am I better at it? Absolutamente,” Burgess says. “I’m better at taking those deep breaths and releasing the thoughts that do not serve me and understanding that my baby is safe and I am safe and my family is safe.”
“But it doesn’t stop them from coming. It is still a very real thing, and as I hear, it never goes away when you head into parenthood,” ela continua. “You’re always going to worry about those babies, and I relate to everyone. I think men and women, it’s not just a female-driven thing, that feel these intrusive thoughts and struggle with them daily.”
Esta temporada de férias, the couple has teamed up with Movember to get people talking about their mental health, especially men.
“Men are just so behind the ball as far as really taking care of themselves,” Green says. “And there’s this stigma and this thought of, if you’re a man, you’re supposed to be the rock, and you’re supposed to be the real emotionally and physically secure one and then hold everyone together and be the glue.”
“To just step outside with someone else and talk about things, whatever arises, is so healthy,” Burgess adds. “I would love for that to be the way for more people, and there is access to that with things like Movember for men. They do have access to be able to do things like this.”
Para 24/7 free and confidential support, por favor ligue 988 to access the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S.